


Not This Turkey’s Day

by maszzaj



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 9-1-1 Crack Week 2020, M/M, Thanksgiving, Turkey - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:21:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27726092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maszzaj/pseuds/maszzaj
Summary: Eddie asks Buck to get a turkey for their Thanksgiving dinner. Buck gets a turkey, just not the one he was supposed to.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 35





	Not This Turkey’s Day

The gentle rocking stopped and my eyes shot wide open. I flapped my wings and tail, but I couldn’t move very far. I was trapped.

There was a shout, followed by a loud crash. A moment later bright light blinded me. I blinked. As my eyes adjusted, I realized I stood on the ruins of my prison. 

A high pitched wail frightened me and I ran. I tripped over my feet as a sprinted away from the awful sound. My feet made clicking sound against the floor. They never did that before. But the floor here was so different than the soft green grass I was used to. 

The sound stopped, but I kept running. Was I running in circles? This all looked the same. Where was my home?

Loud pounding sound followed me around. Someone was chasing me. I had to hide. But I couldn’t stop running so I kept moving. The pounding continued to follow me. 

“Eddie!” A human voice yelled at the top of his lungs. I knew a human when I heard one. And I knew to stay away, unless it was Bill from the farm. He always brought me food, so I guess he was all right, for a human.

There! I spotted a small hole underneath a piece of furniture. No way could a human fit there. I ran under the human’s legs making him shriek and jump out of my way. He-he-he. I still got it. When I was younger, me and my siblings used to play this game with tiny humans. No one was better at scaring them off than me.

“Buck?” Another human joined the first one. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s alive!” Buck said.

Were they talking about me? Of course I was alive. And I will stay that way. I pulled in my tail and tucked my head closer to my chest. 

“Grab him! Her! It!”

“What? What’s going on, Buck?” 

I liked him, he had a nice voice. Eddie wouldn’t let Buck get me. 

While Buck tried to convince Eddie to help him catch me, I slipped from my hiding spot and ran past them toward the door leading to my freedom. Except it wasn’t freedom, it was just another room with different furniture. How many houses did the humans need?

The humans apparently noticed I slipped away and followed me, their voices getting louder the closer they got. I had to find a new hiding spot. 

Eddie stopped, his mouth opening and closing but no sound came out. I’ve never seen a human do that. It was quite entertaining. 

I gobbled and flapped my wings. Human, this is how you speak, you have to make a sound. 

The humans jumped back. Buck stepped in front of Eddie and glared at me. 

“What the hell is that?” Eddie asked. 

“What does it look like?” Buck and I held eye contact. I wasn’t going to be the first to move. No, I was not going to lose to a….a human. 

“It looks like a fucking turkey!”

“Good to know you know what a turkey looks like.” Buck took a step toward me and backed up. 

Then out of nowhere, Buck launched at me. His giant hands reaching for me. I jumped back and ducked under a table. When Buck tried to follow me, he hit the middle of his forehead into the table. He wailed and swore. And I rejoiced with a loud gobble, gobble. 

“Fuck!” Eddie leaned down and cradled Buck’s head in his hands. He frowned and gently rubbed his fingers over Buck’s forehead. Why did he care? Buck got exactly what he deserved for chasing me. I thought Eddie was on my side. But all along, Eddie only cared about Buck. 

I had to admit, they were cute. For humans. 

“You’re fine. Didn’t even break the skin.” 

Eddie and Buck stood up. I couldn’t see them anymore, but I saw their feet. Weren't human feet funny? I saw Bill's feet once. Five toes! On each foot! That's unnatural. No wonder they covered them up.

“Now,” Eddie said, “can you explain why there’s a live turkey running around my house?”

“Well…” Buck shuffled his feet. “Okay. So I went to the store, like you asked…”

“And?”

“They were out of turkeys. Frozen, fresh, they were all gone.”

“So you decided to get a live one?” Eddie snorted. An unnatural sound, if you asked me. 

“No! I went to another store and they were also sold out.”

“I still don’t see, how….that got here.” 

“I met a guy-”

“Of course you did.”

“He was also looking for a turkey so…we bonded. Then he told me his buddy knew of a place where he could get a turkey. He asked if I was interested, what could I say?« 

“How about no?” Eddie tapped his foot on the floor. 

It was a nice sound, slow and peaceful. I liked it so I followed along and tapped my two feet against the floor. The guys leaned down and peered at me so I stopped and sunk back to my safe corner. 

Their heads disappeared from my view once again and I breathed a sign of relief as they returned to their conversation.

“I couldn’t say no. The guy was really nice and I needed a turkey. What’s Thanksgiving dinner without a turkey?”

“It’s a live turkey, Buck!”

“I know that!” Buck took a step away from my hiding spot and started pacing back and forth. “He was in a box. Okay, I should have checked, but who would buy a live turkey?”

“You, apparently.” 

“He was supposed to be dead!” 

The hell you say! I gobbled. I’ve had enough of their nonsense. I stood up and rushed forward. I would show them how dead I was.

I set my sigh on Buck’s legs. He moved backwards, but I still got a few good pecks in with my beak. Buck jumped to the side and collided with Eddie. They screamed.

Gobble. Gobble. I got you, you human imbeciles!

“On the counter!” Eddie jumped up on a piece of furniture and pulled on Buck’s arm. 

Buck did as Eddie said and I bowed my head in defeat. Their legs were out of my reach. The humans beat me, again. 

“I’m gonna get you, you stupid bird.” Buck glared down at me. 

Eddie exhaled. “Why are you talking to the turkey?”

“He’s evil!”

“He’s dinner.”

Dinner? Did he say dinner? I can’t believe I ever actually liked Eddie. Human were all the same. 

Buck looked away. He looked at Eddie like I looked at corn. My mouth watered at the thought of my favorite food. Was it time for dinner, yet?

Buck glanced at me for a moment, before looking at Eddie again. “Do you think, he can understand us?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Eddie laughed. 

I flapped my wings and strained my neck. Just an inch more and I’d have had him. He thought I was stupid, that I didn’t speak human language. He was the stupid one for not speaking turkey. Gobble. Gobble. 

Eddie pulled his legs up and glared at me. 

After a few moments of peaceful quiet, no human chatter at all, Buck said, “So what are we going to do?”

“I have no idea.” Eddie shook his head. “Christopher is due home soon, so we better figure something out fast.”

Buck hummed, he glanced from me to the door then to Eddie. “I got nothing.”

My stomach rumbled. It was time for dinner. I knew it! My stomach never lied. I looked around the bright room. The human must have kept some food somewhere around here. 

The humans continued with their pointless talk while I searched for food. Was that a worm? No, just a scratch on the floor.

“How did you get it in here?” Eddie asked

“In a box.”

“And where’s that box now?”

“By the front door.” Buck was silent for a moment. “Something moved in the box and I...I dropped it. It broke and that thing came running out.”

So that’s how I got out my prison. I was free. Gobble. Gobble. I continue my perusing for food, paying barely any attention to the humans.

“That wouldn’t have happen if you just checked the damn box in the first place.”

“I had no intention of seeing a dead turkey, okay?”

“Then how were you planning on having it for dinner?”

“I figured you’d do it.”

Eddie groaned. 

As the humans continued to bicker I tuned them out. I need food. Fast. Bill always took care of me. How was I going to survive? I got away from those two, only to starve to dead. I glared at the stupid humans on top of their stupid furniture, whispering to each other while stealing glanced my way. 

One moment I was stumbling along, looking for something to eat, the next, Buck was standing in front of me. 

“Come here, little guy.”

Who are you calling little, you giant human?

Buck was closer to me than he’s ever been before, but he still kept enough distance from me. Good human. He had learned from his past mistakes. Now what did he want? I tilted my head to the side, waiting on the human to make the first move. 

“You must be hungry. I got something for you.” Buck held out hand and there, in the center of his palm, laid a bunch of golden corn kernels. Oh, how I loved them. 

Could I trust him? I glanced from Buck to his palm. My stomach rumbled. I was going to die if I didn’t get something to eat. Carefully, I took a step forward. 

“That’s right. Come here.” Buck stretched forward. 

Nothing happened so I took another step, and then another one. The corn kernels danced in front of my eyes, blending together in golden blob. I was so hungry. 

Buck placed the kernels on the floor in front of me and stepped back. “You can eat. We’re not gonna hurt you.”

I didn’t trust him, but at this point, my stomach was making all the decisions for me. I stepped forward and started pecking at the kernels, my stomach content, once again. 

The light disappeared and I was once again trapped in darkness. I scrambled back and hit a wall. I jumped forward and hit another wall. I flapped my wings, but they wouldn’t move. I was trapped. Again. How could I have been so stupid? They’ve played me and I fell for it. 

Gobble. Gobble. 

“We got him!” Buck rejoiced in my misery. 

I sank down, tucking my neck into my chest. This was how it ended. Me, a dinner, for complete idiots. I had such high hopes, such dreams. I was still young, so much to accomplish. I gobbled, my voice strained. I didn't deserve this. Whyyyyy meee!

Buck pulled aside the top of my prison and frowned at me. “Is he crying?”

“Buck!” Eddie closed my prison, again. “Don’t open the box. He’ll escape. Again.”

“But… Didn’t you hear him?”

“A few minutes ago you were trying to kill him and now...what? You feel sorry for the damn bird?”

“No, of course not.” 

I gobbled. I wasn’t dinner, yet. I still had a chance to get out of this prison.

“Yes?”

Buck peeked inside my prison once more. I pulled myself into a small ball and looked at him with my dark eyes. 

“Eddie.” Buck looked to the side then looked back at me. “Look at him. Poor guy.”

Eddie glared down at me. “Poor guy? He tried to kill us!”

I didn’t try to kill you. If I did, you’d be dead.

“How would you feel if someone wanted to have you for dinner?”

“Honestly?” Eddie looked at Buck with raised eyebrows. “Relieved. Then I wouldn’t have to have this conversation with you.”

Buck smiled sadly at me then closed the top of my prison. 

My plan has failed and I was gonna be their dinner. I leaned my head on the side of my prison. 

“But...We won’t…” Buck whispered. “You know, kill him?”

“Of course not!” Eddie yelled. “We, no, you are taking him back to where you got him.”

Wait! Did I hear that right? I won’t be their dinner and they were taking me home? Yay!

“But…”

“But what, Buck?”

“They’ll kill him and eat him.” Buck whispered.

Nay! This was the worst day of my life, however long that might be. 

“Well, I hope they kill him before they eat him, otherwise it’d just be cruel.” Eddie laughed. 

“You’re not funny.”

Yes, tell him, Buck, my friend. 

“I wasn’t trying to be. And why are you whispering?”

“He doesn’t need to hear us talk about him and, you know what.”

“He’s a bird. He doesn’t understand you.”

“Don’t say that! You’re gonna hurt his feelings.”

“He-” 

A loud bam echoed around my prison, followed by a pair of feet and childish laughter. 

“Take the box outside!” Eddie whispered. 

“No! You take it!” Buck whispered back.

I was lifted up, my prison being shaken from side to side. I was gonna be sick. My last dinner was gonna be all over these prison walls. This is not how imagined my day going when I woke up this morning.

After some shuffles a complete silence fell outside my prison.

“What’s that?” A new voice said. It belong to a tiny human, a child. I liked children. 

“Nothing.” Buck and Eddie responded at the same time.

I gobbled. Hello, child. I’m so sorry your parents are murderers. 

“Dad? Is that a turkey in the box you’re holding?”

“Ask Buck.” 

My prison, with me in it, was put on the solid ground once again. 

“It’s..uhm...yeah...that’s. My new pet!” Buck said.

“No.”

I was with Eddie on this one. I was no pet! I was a bird, a wild animal.

“Buck? We probably shouldn’t have turkey for dinner today.” The child whispered. Why did they kept whispering? I could hear them anyway. 

“Why’s that?” 

“Your turkey might get sad if we eat his family member. I’d be sad if someone ate you or my dad.”


End file.
